[meteorite-list] A Listory of the World, Part One

From: Sans Saharacis <octahedrite_at_meteoritecentral.com>
Date: Fri, 12 Feb 2010 11:05:21 -0500
Message-ID: <f019247f1002120805i7c0df076r7afa68206d5df16a_at_mail.gmail.com>

The Listory of the World, Part One.


In the beginning, there was darkness and there were no meteorites.

Then, a voice split the darkness and it said - "let there be light."

An infinite lighted display case appeared, and it glowed like a
beacon, banishing the darkness.

The display case appeared lonely, so the voice said "let there be meteorites."

And the display case was filled with a bounty of chondrites, irons,
and planetaries, lovely and pristine.

But still the display and its contents were lonely and incomplete.

So, the voice said "let there be collectors."

And a throng appeared of men, women and creatures. The throng
gathered around the display case and they did worship it.

The throng spoke in all languages and they raised praise unto the
meteorites, but they could not communicate with each other.

At last, the voice said "let there be the Met List"

And suddenly, the voices of the meteorite worshippers could be heard
and understood by all of the peoples around the world.

The collectors praised the creator and they gave blessings unto his name - Art.

Many aeons passed and the world of the List was peaceful and all
collectors co-existed in harmony.

Over the long years, there arose a great community of many colors and
customs, and they did thrive.

Amongst the community there came scribes and the spirit of Art went
into them and told them to witness the collectors.

The spirit told the scribes to take account of the peoples of the List
and know them, and to label them, and to weigh them.

The spirit commanded - "You will put this account of the peoples to
writing, so that the newbies may understand the ways of the List."

And so the scribes descended deep into the abyss of the List Archives
and they did read, and read, and read.

The scribes learned the ways of the multitude of peoples on the List
and this is their story.



Hereafter is the record of the First Scribe : Aerolitis Onepointoh

The first tribe of the List is the Ancients. They existed from the
moment of the List creation. They are old, wise, wealthy, and
loquacious.

The Ancients existed in the days before the hot deserts and internets
- they did write letters, exchange paper catalogues and send checks.

After many centuries, the Ancients became disquieted and they yearned
for lunaites and martians. They called out for Art.

But Art was not moved, and the Ancients continued to seek guidance, so
a prophet arose among them and his name was The Hagg.

The Hagg was mighty and his locks put Samson's to shame - he traversed
the Earth and found many meteorites, which he gave glory to.

In time, the Hagg's display case rivaled that of the creator, so a
dark power rose in opposition to him - to maintain universal balance.

This dark power was wealthy and his reach was vast. His mouth spewed
blasphemies, smoke, and falsehoods. His collection grew.

The Ancients became disquieted again and they began to make noise on
the List - denouncing the dark one they called Kasper. War stirred.

Destiny brought the Hagg and the Kasper together on Nullarbor Plain
and they fought for dominion over meteorites. The ground shook and
bolides shot the sky.

In the end, the Hagg emerged victorious and the Kasper was cast down
into that infernal pit - eBay. The Ancients rejoiced and the List was
prosperous.

But intrigues and machinations were afoot in the deserts of Mother
Africa, and the List would be caught unaware by a new tribe.



Hereafter is the record of the Second Scribe : Sans Saharacis

In time, while the Ancients were distracted by petrological
differences, a new tribe quietly arose in the desert dunes of
Northwest Africa.

This new tribe was skilled in the arts of exchange, barter, blather,
and busk. And they used the desert peoples as their agents to comb
the dunes for meteorites.

The new tribe would inspect the bounty of the dunes and select the
finest and the most exotic for inclusion in the great display case.

In time, this new tribe became rich with meteorites and they became
known to the Ancients of the List, who greeted them warily but warmly.

The new tribe had powerful names which were alien - Former,
Heeyoopais, and others such as Arnold Alpha, Arnold Omega, and
Cootingspam.

The Ancients were then surprised by the great invasion wave of
planetaries, achondrites, anomalous irons and ungrouped carbos, and
hammers.

Indeed, the Institutions themselves opened their arms and an orgy of
wicked exchange took place as great historical artifacts were ceded
for dune rocks.

All was upset. Up was down, down was up, rare was common and Ancients
wept as their collections were topsie-turvied. The List rang with
laments.

In their despair, the Ancients accepted this new tribe of
Quasi-Saharans and the great display cases swelled to new epic
proportions. A new age was born.

>From their castles on high, the Former, the Heeyoopais and their
cohort took their place amongst the Ancients and dwelled with them,
and in time, ruled them.

In time, the Hagg and his elder kindred (including the Gnew, the
Shoewade, and others) retired to the West Lands, out of time and reach
of normal List men.

The Former and Heeyoopais grew more powerful. They spread mighei,
irons, kakangaris, enstatites, gao, and mangos in syrup.

Indeed, the Ancients, Formers, Heeyoopais and their cohort unified
into one tribe - the Old School. For a time, there was prosperity.

The Old School were mighty and they could walk with impunity in the
infernal lands of eBay and there they laid down their seed.

Kasper laughing spread his wings....
Received on Fri 12 Feb 2010 11:05:21 AM PST