[meteorite-list] People have left the list because of personal attacks.

From: Michael L Blood <mlblood_at_meteoritecentral.com>
Date: Thu Apr 22 10:32:04 2004
Message-ID: <BC332EB5.10201%mlblood_at_cox.net>

John, Mark, Mike & all,
        The best and most effective thing to do when someone on the
list is out of line is to NOT RESPOND to them - at least, not on the
list. The more unhealthy a person is, the more they feed off of
public acknowledgement, no matter how negative.
        This is MUCH easier said than done, especially when they slam
you, personally, on the list. I know, I have gotten caught up, myself,
on more that one occasion.
        One can always direct comments to them directly - off the list,
however, without "feeding" this ironic hunger AND without driving
off our most cherished members. Personally, when I am functioning
at other than my lower levels, I find ignoring them altogether the
most satisfactory course of non-action - at least for myself.
        Wishing us all restraint and higher levels of functioning - Michael
        
         




on 1/20/04 6:26 PM, j.divelbiss_at_att.net at j.divelbiss@att.net wrote:

> Mike and others,
>
> I accept your back handed slap with dignity. It was deserved. I too miss
> Bernd. He was my favorite list personality when I first became a member. Over
> time I noticed he posted less and less. It is no wonder with all the crap
> that has gone on in he last two years including my own idiotic posts at times.
>
> From here on I propose to stay within the lines of reason, and will try with
> my best effort to keep from attacking anyone...especially towards a select
> few who will still drive me crazy with just about every post they make.
>
> If I can't do so, I will recognize it and volunteerly move on and leave the
> list also...without a problem.
>
> My apologies to all...including Matteo,
>
> John
>
>> All and no one in particular,
>>
>> I have been in touch with Bernd and was very sad to learn that he left the
>> list because of the verbal abuse that continues to fly. People are using
>> the list to attack others and it is disgraceful.
>>
>> I wonder how many other people have dropped out because of this behaviour?
>> How many newbies have been turned off of meteorites after seeing the crap
>> posted?
>>
>> I have been lucky enough to have met Bernd and visited with him in Germany
>> this past summer. Bernd and Pauline openned their home to me and we had a
>> great time discussing meteroties and astronomy and art and so much more. I
>> have also been invited back and plan to visit summer 05. It is because of
>> this list that I got to know Bernd. Now he has left and many people will
>> not get the benefit of insightfull comments, extensive data base, and
>> enthusiasm.
>>
>> I deeply enjoy meteorites and find that the list helps me keep in touch with
>> other enthusiasts and in touch with what is going on in the field.
>> Unfortunately, not as much as it used to.
>>
>> If you have something to say to another person then do so privately. If you
>> attack someone opennly then you are simply trying to use the list to advance
>> your own agenda and to gang up on that person. Many have argued that "they
>> started it" and since they were opennly attacked then they should ahve the
>> right to reciprocate. Perhaps that is true but all it does is continue the
>> downward spiral. It is a bigger person who decides to respond in private
>> and not use the list to support their own position.
>>
>> If personal attacks (REGARDLESS OF HOW JUSTIFIED THEY ARE) were sent
>> privately and kept off the list then people like Bernd would still be here.
>> Perhaps this list can return to what it was. A fantastic forum created by
>> Art to advance the science of meteorites and link enthusiasts around the
>> world. Maybe we could even get bernd back.
>>
>> Sorry to have sermonized but I am just fed up.
>>
>> Mike Tettenborn
>> Owen Sound, Ontario
>>
>>
>>
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>
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Received on Tue 20 Jan 2004 10:15:01 PM PST