[meteorite-list] Governmentium - a new heavy element

From: Mark Ford <mark.ford_at_meteoritecentral.com>
Date: Wed, 1 Apr 2009 12:51:20 +0100
Message-ID: <29A9DB45B84970458190D7D39BD42C4956C473_at_gamma.ssl.atw>

Scientists Discover Heaviest Element known to mankind!

The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons,
88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic
mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are
surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be
detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into
contact.

A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take
less than a second, to take from four days to four years to complete.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2- 6 years; It does not decay, but
instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant
neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass
will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more
morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that
Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration..
This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.

When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element
that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many
peons but twice as many morons.
 



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Received on Wed 01 Apr 2009 07:51:20 AM PDT