[meteorite-list] Peru Meteor Curing Diseases

From: markh5 at cox.net <markh5_at_meteoritecentral.com>
Date: Mon, 24 Sep 2007 11:05:04 -0400
Message-ID: <11422648.1190646304794.JavaMail.root_at_eastrmwml14.mgt.cox.net>

Thanks, I needed a good laugh today!!!

Mark

---- Darren Garrison <cynapse at charter.net> wrote:
> http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s5i24980
>
> Lima Beanea, Peru (IP) - Scientists studying the Peruvian meteor report that the
> meteor is curing the diseases of all who approach it. They now know exactly why
> the miracle cures are so effective.
>
> The scientists have observed the figure or image of a hooded female on the side
> of space rock. It turns out that the lady of the rock is none other than Maxine
> Rashawannawanna who is none other than the Virgin Mary's counter part from the
> planet Notperk-Oh-ICU812 which revolves around a pair of stars in the Smaller
> Magellanic Cloud.
>
> Locals are converting en masse to Maxine's religion and the local priests are so
> upset that they have threatened to make an example of a few people by burning
> them at the stake. This has drawn keen interest from a tribe of Firestone
> cannibals who inhabit the local jungles.
>
> The result of all of this activity has been the creation of a Woodstock-like
> atmosphere as hippies, new agers, priests, news crews, cannibals, vendors,
> scientists, medical personnel, hookers, lawyers, onlookers, meteorite
> collectors, astronomers, musicians, and countless other folks from diverse
> backgrounds pour into the area.
>
> There are folks playing bongos and flutes wherever you turn. In one area
> clarinetists and accordion players jam incessantly as if under the control of
> some unseen power. The smell of incense mingles with the smell of roasted animal
> flesh. Babies cry, women laugh, and men whistle and the mingling of so many
> discordant sounds and smells creates a feeling of disorientation and euphoria to
> the thousands of folks who are also suffering from sleep deprivation.
>
> There are so many people in the area that already three women have given birth
> and 16 people have died only to be brought back to life by the powers emitted by
> the space rock.
>
> Wallymart is reportedly sending workers with chisels and hammers to try to
> obtain pieces of the meteorite so they can sell it back in the states. The
> workers experience some type of mystical or religious conversion as soon as they
> get within 100 meters of the rock and not one piece of the rock has been
> removed.
>
> As night falls the rock emits light which is of various colors never seen before
> on our planet nor in our part of the galaxy. Humming sounds of various
> frequencies are heard in the area. Some witnesses have told stories about how
> trees and animals that were formerly injured have now become whole again.
> Another report circulating among the rock's pilgrims tells of how weapons become
> useless within the rock's sphere of influence. The rock's sphere of influence is
> also reported to be growing with time and there is no telling where this will
> all end.
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Received on Mon 24 Sep 2007 11:05:04 AM PDT