[meteorite-list] Peru Meteor Curing Diseases

From: Darren Garrison <cynapse_at_meteoritecentral.com>
Date: Sun, 23 Sep 2007 14:27:06 -0400
Message-ID: <qtbdf39aqi0mgpvg3bluhq7c73kdtbq81u_at_4ax.com>

http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s5i24980

Lima Beanea, Peru (IP) - Scientists studying the Peruvian meteor report that the
meteor is curing the diseases of all who approach it. They now know exactly why
the miracle cures are so effective.

The scientists have observed the figure or image of a hooded female on the side
of space rock. It turns out that the lady of the rock is none other than Maxine
Rashawannawanna who is none other than the Virgin Mary's counter part from the
planet Notperk-Oh-ICU812 which revolves around a pair of stars in the Smaller
Magellanic Cloud.

Locals are converting en masse to Maxine's religion and the local priests are so
upset that they have threatened to make an example of a few people by burning
them at the stake. This has drawn keen interest from a tribe of Firestone
cannibals who inhabit the local jungles.

The result of all of this activity has been the creation of a Woodstock-like
atmosphere as hippies, new agers, priests, news crews, cannibals, vendors,
scientists, medical personnel, hookers, lawyers, onlookers, meteorite
collectors, astronomers, musicians, and countless other folks from diverse
backgrounds pour into the area.

There are folks playing bongos and flutes wherever you turn. In one area
clarinetists and accordion players jam incessantly as if under the control of
some unseen power. The smell of incense mingles with the smell of roasted animal
flesh. Babies cry, women laugh, and men whistle and the mingling of so many
discordant sounds and smells creates a feeling of disorientation and euphoria to
the thousands of folks who are also suffering from sleep deprivation.

There are so many people in the area that already three women have given birth
and 16 people have died only to be brought back to life by the powers emitted by
the space rock.

Wallymart is reportedly sending workers with chisels and hammers to try to
obtain pieces of the meteorite so they can sell it back in the states. The
workers experience some type of mystical or religious conversion as soon as they
get within 100 meters of the rock and not one piece of the rock has been
removed.

As night falls the rock emits light which is of various colors never seen before
on our planet nor in our part of the galaxy. Humming sounds of various
frequencies are heard in the area. Some witnesses have told stories about how
trees and animals that were formerly injured have now become whole again.
Another report circulating among the rock's pilgrims tells of how weapons become
useless within the rock's sphere of influence. The rock's sphere of influence is
also reported to be growing with time and there is no telling where this will
all end.
Received on Sun 23 Sep 2007 02:27:06 PM PDT