[meteorite-list] you should be here
From: Jerry A. Wallace <jwal2000_at_meteoritecentral.com>
Date: Tue Jun 7 16:03:43 2005 Message-ID: <42A5FD95.7010602_at_swbell.net> Hi Steve, Sounds like you're having a great vacation. Much deserved, no doubt. Matzatlan is a beautiful place to visit. It occurs to me that you now have a fantastic, perhaps even a once-in-a- lifetime opportunity available to you. The Mexican deserts, the Sonoran and the Chihuahuan, have been scantily searched for the marvelous meteorite treasures that are most assuredly lying there just waiting for you to find them. An expert such as yourself, who can smell a meteorite from miles away, should be able to spot large, untouched strewnfields in the somewhat remote regions of these small, user friendly deserts. If you were to take the bus from Matzatlan up the coastal highway to Los Mochis, you would then be at a prime jumping off spot for your expedition. In Los Mochis you could equip yourself for your search through the desert of your choice. Keeping it simple will be the key to your success in this endeavor. You will need a piece of string, a magnet, a water jug, a backpack in which to carry your case of Spam, a small piece of cork and a magnetized needle, in case you feel the need to make a compass. I would pass on the compass materials to cut down on the weight, however. If you should feel lost at any time, just follow the crowds as they are all heading north to the border. You should also get yourself a large wheelbarrow in which to carry along the treasure (space rocks.) Perhaps you should also buy one of the beautifully decorated sombreros that are available in that area at a very reasonable cost. It will come in handy for shading your eyes during the many siestas you are likely to take. In Los Mochis you will need to make the decision as to which of the small, hospitable deserts you wish to search. To the NNE you have the Chihuahuan Desert. Your timing for this trip is impeccable, as always, Steve, for during the spring, the desert is cool and lush with edible vegetation and cute and cuddly wildlife. The same can be said for the Sonoran, of course, whose path lies to the NNW. If you choose the Chihuahuan Desert for your route northward, you will possibly run into some low foothills known as the Sierra Madre Occidentals. These have never been scoured with a trained eye such as yours so you might need a burro or six with packs to bring out the tons of lunars, martians, and gorgeous pallasites that lie in wait for you. There are many coffee shops and restaurants thoughout the area that will provide you with computers and broadband internet service from which to keep the List informed of your progress and spectacular finds. Even though burros will be available at the nearest town or rancho whenever you need them, you should not neglect to take the wheelbarrow. Think of the fun you can have riding it down the gentle northside slopes of the foothills. Be sure to tighten the chinstrap on your sombrero before taking off. Wouldn't want to lose it. Also be careful not to careen through the northward bound crowds on your fun rides in the wheelbarrow. I would recommend going the Chihuahuan route because if you take the Sonoran trek you will likely come out at the Arizona border. There would be hundreds of unscrupulous meteorite dealers there from Tucson and Phoenix who would try to steal your valuable treasures at a mere pittance of their actual worth. When you reach the east/west fence you will be nearly home. Just toss all your meteorites over the fence and make a mental note as to their location. Run the many burros off that you have accumulated on your trek by shouting, "GO HOME NOW!" The burros, being highly intelligent and obedient will immediately return to their owners. Nobody will bother your meteorites and you can come back for them later with a large truck. By doing this you avoid confusing the border guards who have probably never heard of a meteorite and therefore wouldn't know whether to allow you to bring your treasure across the border or not. Small thing. People do it all the time and it really helps out the overworked border guards. Then, continue along the fenceline for a few miles in either direction until you reach one of the numerous border crossing stations. Make certain you are wearing your beautiful sombrero when you arrive at the station. You would also do well to buy some of the stylish Mexican sandals from someone in one of the many northward bound groups you cannot help but encounter along the way. Another nice touch would be to wear one of the colorful serapes that can be obtained almost anywhere in your travels. The ever friendly border guards will more than likely just wave you through with a big, friendly smile. Should one of the guards try to engage you in friendly conversation, you should step back and shout as loud as you can, "I AM NOT A TERRORIST! I AM AN AMERICANO TURISTA! LET ME PASS NOW OR I WILL SUE YOU!" This generally works in 99% of the cases. But, in the unlikely event they have any suspicions about you, the guard will usually put you in one of their air conditioned Jeeps, drive you to a nearby restaurant, and order you the El Grande platter and cold Tecate' longnecks. This is only to relax you and put you at ease. Then the guard will ask you a few simple questions and may even request to see your driver's license. Then he'll take you back to the border station and ask if you need a cab, or could they possibly drive you to a hotel. They're always careful to offer you any money you might need for your expenses while you enjoy your stay along the desert border region. You will undoubtedly enjoy the experience. Later, after you've rested a bit in the nice hotel room, you will want to rent a very large U-Haul truck in order to retrieve your cache of valuable meteorites. If you watch carefully on your way home to Chicago, you will be able to spot many large bumps in the road that you can aim at and really give your space rocks a good bouncing. This action should produce many accidental breaks and shatters along the edges of the meteorites that will undoubtedly make for great giveaways later. If you should encounter any border agents as you are leaving Texas, New Mexico, or Arizona who seem to indicate they might wish you to stop for a chat, merely hang your head out the truck window and again shout as loud as you can, "I AM NOT A DRUG SMUGGLER! I AM TRANSPORTING IMPORTANT SCIENTIFIC TYPE METEORITES! LEAVE ME ALONE OR I WILL SUE YOU!" Again, as previously happened at the border station, the agents might wish to wine and dine you and ask a couple of questions. But what the heck, they always provide great meals, fine booze, and are good company. Take advantage of the situation and ask for a few hunded dollars more to help you along on your trip to Chicago. Insist on cash, though, since you don't want to take the time and trouble of stopping by a bank to cash a check. They'll understand. Follow these suggestions closely, Steve, and you will most certainly become known as the premier meteorite hunter, dealer, and giveawayer of our time. Yessiree, Steve, this will put you on top of the pile, ahead of the rest; you'll be the big cheese, the honcho, the main man, and the big boss. Who could ask for more? Good hunting, Jerry PS... One small afterthought: If you were to take your handy-dandy cam along with you to document your stupendous finds, travels, and experiences, and then edit and compile the footage into a DVD, it would most certainly be an instant best seller. Folks will no doubt insist that you enter it at the Cannes and the Sundance Film Festivals in the documentary category. This will be a fine example to the rest of us as to how this should done (especially to your confused namesake, Arkansas Steve Arnold.) Your guidance and example in these matters is all that we seek. PPS... Be sure to get some action shots as you're riding the wheelbarrow down the slopes of the Sierra Madre's. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Steve Arnold, Chicago!!! wrote: >Hi list.It is 88 degress,the water is 80 degrees and it is very humid.So >much with nothing to do but drink,eat,swim and play.Like BTO said many >years ago,I LIKE TO WORK AT DOING NOTHING ALL DAY.hEY See you all next >week. > > > sa in mazatlan,mexico > >Steve R.Arnold, Chicago, IL, 60120 > > >Illinois Meteorites,Ltd! > > >website url http://stormbringer60120.tripod.com > > Received on Tue 07 Jun 2005 04:03:33 PM PDT |
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