[meteorite-list] Re: Santa Physics Concerns

From: MexicoDoug_at_aol.com <MexicoDoug_at_meteoritecentral.com>
Date: Mon Dec 12 22:41:26 2005
Message-ID: <191.4d3718c4.30cf9cda_at_aol.com>

Hola Martin, List,

Santa is actually a legendary relic left over from a long defunct and
technically advanced and space-faring population. As what happens with linguistic
drift with races of people more concerned with war, he originally was called
T-NASA in a great near-Utopian society, and utilized propulsion technology
that had him smoking along and glowing a bright cherry-red.

Unfortunately, that society which developed the wonderful technology was
annihilated due to a tiny bit of faulty DNA which prevented social cooperation
among neighbors when their backs were turned, and the ensuing fallout of the
destruction left the new ignorant but generally lovingly meek and innocent
race thinking that the T-NASA technology (Now called Santa by a permutation in
the long now long extinct language of reverse Pig-Latin spoken by the original
aggressors.) Santa's red suit, white adornment and beard are easily
understood by meteoriticists as a glowing metallic ship with the ablation particles
streaming behind appearing to be a beard and other fluffy stuff around the
glowing mass. That is why Santa is always represented as fat in innocent
youngster's sketches, because he is the main mass of the masses in spirit, and
several listmembers already caught on as to why reindeer can have a red
glowing-re-entry oriented nosecone, reindeer of course being linguistically
equivalent to over the ages to "T-NASA Rain, dear", when husband and wife alike
commented to their dears, of the literally rain happy spirits (and now presents)
above since to a mere mortal unbeliever it simply appears to be a rain of
presents since it all happens almost in an instant.

Over the years, our race has risen from those innocents, though there have
been some issues with bad DNA, in general we have done OK, and not lost the
spirit of appreciation of things that fall from the sky, occasionally hammering
chimneys, which explains the fixation many have on meteorites, hammer stones
and an occasional spanking for bad boys and girls on Christmas night.

Anyway the time approaches for the annual celestial event where all of earth
becomes the strewn field, and good boys and girls will now find meteorites
falling down their chimneys, the smart ones, putting shock absorbing stockings
to catch them before the impact the floor and damage the otherwise perfect
fusion crusts everything has its function in a nice tradition.

Don't forget to leave cookies and milk, they are really used as mortar
(a.k.a. the necessary dough) to bake a nice ablation resistant treat-ment for the
red nosed T-NASA stuff. And that is why some people thing the cow jumped over
the Moon, because of the slingshot effect used by T-NASA (OK, Santa) with
the milk and cookie anti-ablation coating before each reentry and fall as Santa
technology is Lunar-centric and utilizes the rotation of the earth in one
day to share all of the happy spirits.

A good activity for children after the joyful eve is to collect dust, run a
magnet through it to remove all the meteoritic material, which will leave
some magical powder which is actually Lunar grains swept up by Santa
anti-ablative technology and sticking momentarily to the to the dough (a.k.a., manna)
before raining, dears, down from the heavens.

There, I hope that was clear enough...
Some nice German sent me the references:
1. "Miracle on 34th Street"
2. "Star Trek": "The Omega Glory"
3. "The Handbook of Iron Meteorites" by Vagn F. Buchwald

Saludos, Doug

Martin H. wrote:
For purposes of comparison, the fastest
man-made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles
per second, and conventional reindeer can run at best 30 miles per
hour.
Received on Mon 12 Dec 2005 10:41:14 PM PST