[meteorite-list] Debate Over What Constitutes A Planet Is Far From Settled

From: Francis Graham <francisgraham_at_meteoritecentral.com>
Date: Thu Apr 22 10:23:47 2004
Message-ID: <20030311233916.46945.qmail_at_web40112.mail.yahoo.com>

I thought some might like this. Others, delete.
Francis Graham

PLUTO TO EARTH

"Have you heard the news from Earth?"
Asked the Plutonians gathered by the Hearth
(For although they were used to the cryogenic
A little heat was loved; and made them phrenetic
Increasing their thoughts; yes, near perihelion
The best of sages could count to a billion.)
"The scoundrels on that blue dot near the Sun
Count eight planets now, and we're not one!"
Another Plutonian retorted, "It must be the glare,
Of the Sun that maddens them. It's not fair!
To pronounce this judgment is mere sophistry
When I doubt they even know our geography."
"And what of our atmosphere, whose pressure is felt,
Is that like an asteroid of the Kuiper belt?"
"And our moon," said another,"Who's tidally locked;
If we're not a planet, why's not Mercury defrocked?"
"In lieu of this," cried another, "Let the planets
begin
With Jupiter; and those rocks further in
Are the Sun's satellites; to be pedantic
The Earth's a double moon--how's that for semantic!?"
Yet one more Plutonian, of a psychological bent
Said, "Consider where Earth's spacecraft were sent.
To all orbs but ours. But in their spacefaring nations
The rulers defunded planetary explorations.
So like Aesop's fable, 'The Grapes and the Fox'
What man cannot conquer, he demotes and mocks!"
And so the wise subzero Plutonians agreed
Their lower status was from a cold human need
To conquer all; failing that, what is left
Is from what is worthy to conquer cleft.
No doubt if Pluto had an American probe
Visiting; each Congressional ear lobe
Would be told the expensive spacecraft hurled
To a major planet, not some trivial world.
Said one more Plutonian, twice as cynical,
"Thus even planetology has gotten political."
















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Received on Tue 11 Mar 2003 06:39:16 PM PST