[meteorite-list] A Warning

From: Jerry A. Wallace <jwal2000_at_meteoritecentral.com>
Date: Thu Apr 22 10:18:05 2004
Message-ID: <3FF1E434.30009_at_swbell.net>

Dear Met Cent List Folks,

I'm certainly not claiming to be a fortune teller, but it /was/ obvious,
at least to me,
what would trigger the next Mount Matteo eruption. When he declared that
he was
quitting our game, taking his ball, and starting his own game (list)
across the pond
over yonder, that it could only be a short time before any number of
things could,
or would, happen.

As it has now developed, we stand unjustly accused of sending our spies
into the
enemy camp (his) for purposes including espionage, sabotage, and all
other manner
of evil doing, even to the ultimate sin of Proud Tomming him again. Of
course,
these charges are blatantly false because everyone on the Met Cent list was
quietly celebrating his absence and not even mentioning his name (for
the most
part) out of fear of reviving the monster. Well, it's done been did.

I've attempted to decode his latest transmission using a number of
different
classical encryption algorithms, including the Caesar Cipher, with no
success
whatsoever. The results are as undecipherable and meaningless as the
original
message.

I have found, however, the last line of his tirade to be the most
telling. It
actually wasn't so much encrypted as the first part of his message, but more
in need of some industrial strength translation techniques. So, if you
will bear
with me, I'll attempt to sort out what was probably the essence of his
lastest
broadside.

Matteo ranted:

>A time for all, you did the cabbages yours ( italian expression )
>

Starting with the first phrase: "A time for all, ..."

This, it turns out, is fairly close to meaning what it says: i.e., that
everyone will, at one time or
another, have the opportunity to accomplish the specified act.

I think Matteo may have been paraphasing the famous statement from the
Bible, from the
book of Ecclesiastes:

"To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the
heaven."

Perhaps the Nuns in Matteo's group had a positive influence on Matteo in
his selection of
the biblical reference that he used. You're doing a good job on a hard
case, girls.

And the next portion being:

>"...you did the..."
>
This is a reemphasis on the first part meaning: 'you have done' or
(transliterally abominated)
'you will have done' (at some future point in time.)

It was the "cabbages" part that really threw me. I had to do quite a
bit of digging into
ancient Roman history and translated Latin before this became clear. It
turns out that in
early Roman times, bolides, fireballs, or actually- any meteoroid in
transit through the
earth's atmosphere, was termed, or spoken of, as a 'heavenly vegetable',
or to be more
specific- a "cabbage". Not a lot of people know this.

The following Latin statement from Roman antiquity makes it abundantly
clear:

Minutus cantorum, minutus balorum, minutus carborata descendum pantorum.

That leaves only the final word, "...yours..." which wasn't hard to
figure at all. It is a
contraction of the modern day phrase: "up yours!" It is used reflexively
as a moderator
for the noun "cabbages".

And so, I offer to you the completed translation (actual meaning) of
Matteo's (ain't
gonna write no more this list) last statement:

"TAKE THIS METEORITE (probably a ragged Pultusk) AND SHOVE IT!"

No thanks necessary,

West Texas Jerry

Cum catapultae proscriptae erunt tum soli proscript catapultas habebunt.
(When catapults are outlawed, only outlaws will have catapults.)

------------------------------------------------------------------------

M come Meteorite Meteorites wrote:

>I wanted to inform to the infiltrator in my group that
>to stop to pass the messages post in my group to
>varied members of this list, besides to the idiot that
>puts the images of its fellow idiotic proud tom in the
>group between little I will know who is seen that I
>have asked to Yahoo of to supply myself all of the
>data of who have put the images. A time for all, you
>did the cabbages yours ( italian expression )
>
>Matteo
>
>=====
>M come Meteorite - Matteo Chinellato
>Via Triestina 126/A - 30030 - TESSERA, VENEZIA, ITALY
>Email: mcomemeteorite2000_at_yahoo.it
>Sale Site: http://www.mcomemeteorite.com Collection Site: http://www.mcomemeteorite.info
>International Meteorite Collectors Association #2140
>MSN Messanger: spacerocks_at_hotmail.com
>EBAY.COM:http://members.ebay.com/aboutme/mcomemeteorite/
>
>
>
Received on Tue 30 Dec 2003 03:46:44 PM PST