[meteorite-list] Toronto Fireball Error! Was Seen in Fremont MI

From: dean bessey <deanbessey_at_meteoritecentral.com>
Date: Thu Apr 22 09:47:05 2004
Message-ID: <LAW2-F102RpVgRdc6Go00004163_at_hotmail.com>

>I am the person who had reported a fireball seen at
>Toronto, Canada, on 10-17-2001, at around 10:30 P.M.
>EDT. Sadly, I must say it is in error. It was "NOT"
>seen at Toronto. <snip>
>
OK. I have the scoop on that story. Here is what really happened. Here is a
transcript of some emails that was sent back and forth on Oct 17th between
me, that meteor, and God - which gives all of the details serounding this
event.
Meteor (To me) - Hello. I have been travelling around for 4.5 billion years
and have a great story to tell. But now my journey must end and I have to
land on earth for my final resting place. Earth is where meteorites go to
die. I need a final resting place and am thinking about canada. Right now I
am on my way to toronto. Since you are in Toronto I decided to email you and
ask you what life is like for a meteorite in canada.
Me - Hello there. It is great hearing from you. If you decide to come to
canada please drop in. I would love to meet you. However, Canada is a pretty
nasty place for meteorites. This country has draconian laws that makes
meteorites that fall in Canada effectively worthless so nobody would be
interested in going out to look for you.
Meteor - So what would happen to dear little old me if I went to Canada?
Me - You would lie around the snow until you wither away and die.
Meteor - You mean that I would be all alone, unstudied and unloved in the
canadian wilderness and have polar bears piss on me until I wither away and
die?
Me - thats right
Meteor - And if I was unlucky enough to land on a lake I would be rust to
rust, shale to shale by spring?
EDITORS NOTE: "Rust to rust, shale to shale" is the meteorite equivelent to
"Ashes to ashes, dust to dust".
Me - fraid so
Meteor - That is worst than if I landed in Australia. There I would still
have kangaroos pissing on me, but at least I would survive for 40,000 years
in Australia instead of 4 months like I would in Canada and that is enough
time for somebody with an IQ of more than 16 to take over the government.
Me - That about sums it up.
Meteor - Boy am I ever glad that I emailed you. This would have been my
last christmas if we never made contact. I tell you what, when I land I will
arrange to get some of me sent to you.
Me - sounds good. I still want to meet you sometime - even if you are not
Canadian. I want to get through as much of the UN as I can.
Meteor - See you later. Bye
Meteor (To God) - HAAALLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP. I am desperate. I am almost
out of fuel and I need a little help or I will fall into hostile territory.
I need to get another 200 miles before I reach the surface or I will die a
quick and aganizing death, alone and unloved. This is no way for one of your
four and a half billion year old creations to die.
God - You are in luck. I got your email in time to save you. I have added
some size and fuel to your reserves so you should now be able to make it out
of Canadian airspace before you hit the snow.
Meteor - Thanks. Now I will have more than one more christmas.
EDITORS NOTE: And so the little meteorite lived happily ever after.

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Received on Mon 05 Nov 2001 01:20:05 AM PST